Never having broken up with someone before - I know, shocker, right? Me, not breaking hearts left and right? Absurd! - I had no idea how poorly it actually worked. Apparently it doesn't make people disappear off the face of the planet. It doesn't make them disappear from the school or your classes or your lunch period. It doesn't even make them understand that you're serious and you've broken up with them.
It's been a week. A long week, with highs and lows ranging from Paul following me around like a lost, kicked puppy to a screaming match in the middle of volleyball practice. For which we were both summarily punished. His involved running, from what I hear. Mine involved doing hitting drills until I wanted to cry. He got off lucky, considering he cut his JROTC thing and this was his fault.
That was Tuesday. I missed the height of the rumors on Wednesday because I was at Eric's. For all the things breaking up with your boyfriend doesn't accomplish, it apparently does give Eric the go ahead to feel you up while you're getting high in his basement. So much for "you look like you could use a break." I should have known better. He's never needed an excuse with anyone. I mean, he's great, plus he's my hook up, but I don't think his hands have stayed where they belonged for more than five minutes since the seventh grade.
Normally I wouldn't care, or I would care, but only for the two seconds it took to straighten him out, except this came with a lot of mind garbage. It came with and without Paul. Usually I just say, "Eric, I have a boyfriend," but that was no longer on the table. It turns out that "don't" works just as well, but that's not really the point. The point is Paul was the last guy to do that with me and it tripped a wire in my brain that made me break up with him right in the middle of it all. I knew what we were doing - I got in the backseat with him, after all. But it annoyed me anyway, just like Paul was handsy Eric or something, and I remembered that feeling really clearly when it was Eric. I was just high enough that I couldn't decide if I felt that way because Eric was Eric, or because Eric reminded me of Paul reminding me of Eric. It's... confusing.
I need to get away from both of them for a while. Maybe the team will want to go out after the game tonight. That would be a good start.
It's been a week. A long week, with highs and lows ranging from Paul following me around like a lost, kicked puppy to a screaming match in the middle of volleyball practice. For which we were both summarily punished. His involved running, from what I hear. Mine involved doing hitting drills until I wanted to cry. He got off lucky, considering he cut his JROTC thing and this was his fault.
That was Tuesday. I missed the height of the rumors on Wednesday because I was at Eric's. For all the things breaking up with your boyfriend doesn't accomplish, it apparently does give Eric the go ahead to feel you up while you're getting high in his basement. So much for "you look like you could use a break." I should have known better. He's never needed an excuse with anyone. I mean, he's great, plus he's my hook up, but I don't think his hands have stayed where they belonged for more than five minutes since the seventh grade.
Normally I wouldn't care, or I would care, but only for the two seconds it took to straighten him out, except this came with a lot of mind garbage. It came with and without Paul. Usually I just say, "Eric, I have a boyfriend," but that was no longer on the table. It turns out that "don't" works just as well, but that's not really the point. The point is Paul was the last guy to do that with me and it tripped a wire in my brain that made me break up with him right in the middle of it all. I knew what we were doing - I got in the backseat with him, after all. But it annoyed me anyway, just like Paul was handsy Eric or something, and I remembered that feeling really clearly when it was Eric. I was just high enough that I couldn't decide if I felt that way because Eric was Eric, or because Eric reminded me of Paul reminding me of Eric. It's... confusing.
I need to get away from both of them for a while. Maybe the team will want to go out after the game tonight. That would be a good start.
